Newest blog in a few months...something I wrote.

Just an Update

So here it is, January 6, 2008. School starts back tomorrow. As much as I'm dreading going back, I'm actually really looking forward to this semester. Pretty much the easiest schedule ever. I'm just wishing I could sleep more.

Well, my Christmas was pretty good. And my New Year's blew. But I DID get to go hang out with Taylor in Gatlinburg, so it was ok. And I got Resident Evil 4 for my Wii. Balls, that's a good game. It should tide me over until Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Other than that, life's going pretty good. I guess this is the first blog I've posted since Taylor and I started dating....that's going real well...and I know all you peoples are jealous. Oh! And less than three months until I start driving! Woot!

As far as the whole "Boy Meets World Movie" thing goes.....we've done about half of it. And I have NO idea when we'll finish it. If we do, that is.

But I think me and Gabe are gonna work on an airsoft video/slideshow thing about Team Gibson. If you wanna check us out, just head on over to www.freewebs.com/teamgibson.

Well, that's about all I feel like posting right now. So I'm out.

-keith

Oh, one last thing. Juno is a really original movie. I suggest you go see it. It's....different.

A Christmas Story

OK, so I was asked to write a story by my apparent new-best-friend Meghan. So I did the first little bit, then enlisted (My friend who wishes to remain anonymous for his own reasons)'s help. Here's what we came up with:


Ethan was laying in his bed. Pretending to be asleep. It was Christmas Eve. Almost midnight, now. Ethan lay there. Waiting. He was your average ten-year-old. A little fat, but hey, what's new? Ethan had been preparing for this night for weeks. He'd figured it all out. His parents were Santa! At first, this realization crushed Ethan. But eventually, he began to see it as an opportunity. Being the fatty he was, he was going to sneak out of his room and to their tree, once his parents had gone to bed. Being the fatty he was, he was planning on stealing the cookies. His watch alarm went off. It was time. He slid out of bed and into the hallway. He crept down the stairs, like a fat little ninja. Finally, he reached the living room and saw the cookies. Sweet, sweet victory. He began to stuff his face right away. Suddenly, he heard something. His parents? No, this sound was.....well, it was something he'd never heard before. It was as if someone was on the roof. But that's crazy! Who would be on his roof on Christmas Eve! He went back to eating his cookies, but only briefly before hearing something else. This came from behind Ethan. He slowly turned, the hair on his neck standing on end. A rustle, and then a crash. When the smoke and dust from the chimney cleared, Ethan saw him.

He couldn't believe it! It was SANTA! Right there, in Ethan's own living room. He was fully decked out in his red robes and everything! Santa stood up and dusted himself off, then he noticed Ethan. He gave a jolly grin and a "Ho, Ho, H-". He stopped. "Hey, are you eating my cookies!?" Ethan slowly nodded. "Why you little fatty!"

Santa jumped on the boy releasing a sudden cry. He proceeded to whip out two crude elf blades and with a quick slash managed to hack off one of poor little Ethan’s fat rolls. Ethan, mortally wounded and losing blood by the gallons, somersaulted out of the way with the agility of a small, retarded, three legged, blind, hairless, cat. Now out of harm's way, Ethan scurried to the kitchen in search of weaponry. He opened the first cabinet and found four shurikens. "This will never do," he exclaimed, and hurled them wildly away. Luckily, one of them managed to puncture the lung of his dog, Barney. Ethan had to act fast, as it wouldn’t be long before- oh wait, never mind, Santa had already reached the kitchen. Ethan, in a state of panic, looked under the sink and found an array of disinfectant sprays and rat poison. He picked them up and threatened to kill Santa. Santa stopped and began to laugh at the futile attempts at life this unusual little boy was trying to accomplish.

While he was doing so, Ethan suddenly leaped toward him with a series of front flips spraying the deadly poison into his eyes. Santa became partially blinded. He tried to hack the boy into pieces but his vision was a blur. Not to mention, Ethan had watched the entire series of "Highlander" the day before (it was a special on TNT), so he was accustomed to this sort of thing. With the upper hand, Ethan ran to the sink and turned the water on (don't worry, he had something up his sleeve). Meanwhile, Santa was still flailing around shouting a number of profanities. Ethan ran to the toaster and threw it in the sink, then the microwave, and then his easy bake oven which he had received from his Aunt Beth at birth (she thought his parents would have a girl..pft, guess not). He ran to the china cabinet and started throwing all of the priceless dish ware at Santa, slowly corning him into the electrified death trap. Santa shouted, "MY EYES ARE ACTUALLY BURNING THEMSELVES INTO MY BRAIN!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!" He stumbled for a moment and then found the sink. "Thank goodness," he said. Santa dunked his face into the water, receiving 14 million volts of electricity (13 million coming from the easy bake oven alone). Ethan turned away from the horrifying sight. Santa’s body shot across the room leaving a path of destruction and assorted entrails. The room went deathly quiet. Ethan crept toward the mutilated, smoldering carcass of the once jolly old fat man. He knelt down beside him and unleashed a fury of punches and shanks. The body just laid there motionless. The boy, now out of breath, stood up and headed towards the bathroom to attend his wounds.

He limped into the bathroom and shut the door. As he turned to the mirror, a rain of terror swept over him. There, right behind him, with a nail gun, was Santa. A really, really pissed off Santa. Ethan tried to scream, but Santa covered his mouth. He nailed Ethan’s chubby feet to the ground and laid his face on the toilet seat. Shouts for mercy came crying out of Ethan, but after receiving 14 million volts of electricity, Santa wasn’t in the mood. He raised his big ol’ boot and curb stomped the little fatty into the toilet. Teeth, blood, and tears covered the bathroom floor. Santa lowered his head and whispered, "Merry Christmas, motha -" but was cut off when Ethan turned his head spat in Santa’s face. "I’ll never give up!" he cried. Santa shook his head, "I am going to inflict so much pain upon you this day! When I am done, you will be on your knees begging for mercy! You will regret you had ever been born! You will wish you had never crawled out of the sanctity that was your mother’s womb! On this day you will experience a whole new world of pain! Nay, a whole new spectrum of pain! Like a rainbow! A beautiful rainbow of PAIN!"

Fortunately for Ethan, he had gone unconscious half way through. Santa sighed, "I grow tired of this setting. I think I will take you back to my place where I shall have my way with you! Ho ho ho!" He hurled the body onto his back and carried it to the living room fireplace. Before he could escape with the boy, a voice called out to him, "Santa! What the f*** are you doing here?" Santa turned around- there stood Ethan’s parents. "We were doing just fine before you f***ing came along! Little Ethan didn’t suspect a thing! And what’s this? You ate our f***ing cookies!?" They were obviously pissed (and atheists, by the way). Santa shrugged and said, "Did you really think you would be able to keep up the Santa act for that long? You're both so naive. Oh well, I guess I have to kill the two of you now. What a drag." The parents turned to each other and smiled. The Dad looked back sharply at Santa and said, "I think killing us will be a little harder than you think." Little did Santa know that both of Ethan’s parents were Kung Fu masters...and they were black.

Santa, unaware of this, assumed his defensive stance and readied himself for the parents attack. The battle was so freaking epic, like the final battle in the Lord of the Rings. Spears, bullets, rocks, Haduken!'s, beams of energy, small plastic objects, pieces of metal, a box with every last copy of Mandy Moore’s greatest hits, Connors, midgets, encyclopedias, pencils, knives, and orphans were all used in various fashions. The battle lasted into the wee hours of the night.

Almost dawn. The rain was coming down hard now. Santa was tired. His robes had become quite heavy due to the moisture. There was no more running. It had to end here. Now. He looked across the roof. There stood Ethan and his parents. The father stood in front, protecting his family. Santa didn't want to kill them. But he had to. They had to die. It was as it had been foretold. Santa slowly reached behind his back and pulled out a 9-mil pistol. Instantly, the father's expression went blank. He stepped forward, holding out his hand, as if to stop the bullet. "Now, hold on, Santa, nobody has to die her-" The gunshot stopped him. Actually, the bullet stopped him. He grabbed his chest and fell to the ground, dead. Reality sunk into Ethan's mom. "David!!" She ran to him, but did not reach him. Santa got her right between the eyes. She slumped next to David's body. Things were quiet. Ethan just stood there silently. He looked at Santa. One tear slid down his cheek. "No. Not like this." He ran towards Santa, screaming. Crying. Santa yelled for him to stop. He didn't want to kill the boy. Just as Ethan reached Santa, he fired. Ethan stopped. He looked at his stomach, the blood. Then back at Santa. "I looked up to you," he said. Then his eyes rolled back, and he joined his parents. Santa fell to his knees and began to cry. He lay there, crying, for a good hour. Realizing all of his sanity was finally gone. What would Mrs. Clause think? It was over. He couldn't cover this one up. Things had gotten too messy. It was over. He realized this was the end of the line. So he decided to go out with a bang. That was the night. The night Santa went crazy.

And finally, we leave you with this video, showing the aftermath of that fateful night. Showing you this aftermath....in SONG!

Just some thoughts.....

OK, so first off, being not-grounded is quite nice. I've been slacking off on posting blogs for a while, but I've been extremely busy. So I'm just gonna mention lots of different things here.

First off, the weekend before this last one, I saw Dan In Real Life. Twice. Man, it's a really good movie. It's kinda like The Invisible in the sense that it got very little publicity, and that it owned. I just like Steve Carell too much to have passed it up. And Dane Cook did a pretty good job in it, too! So yeah, I recommend you go see it. Definitely worth it.

Then, this weekend, I saw I Am Legend. Twice. I have to say, I'm giving Best Movie of the Year to this one. Will Smith continues to be an amazing actor, and since pretty much the movies success in its entirety is put on his shoulders, I'd have to say he did fantastical. I mean, this movie had it all. Gorgeous CGI effects, nice scares, comedy, and overall depressing, yet meaningful points. You really get the feel of how lonely he is. And, for the first time in SEVEN YEARS, I cried while watching this movie. I couldn't help it. But go watch it, you'll understand why. I give it a 10/10. Oh, and if you have a chance to see it in Imax, do it.

OK, now on to what's been going on in my personal life. Dang. School's been kick'n me in the balls lately. Finals are tomorrow and Wednesday, then we're out of school. And it's killing me. Between studying, homework, sleeping, and having some down time, I'm just worn out. And I'm really ready to be done with school. Really, I can't wait until Wednesday. Lock out, baby! It's gonna be the balls. I can't wait to see Taylor, Joe, and all of them. But mostly Taylor. And me and Joe are gonna have to catch up on our sexy-times.

All in all, I'm just ready for a break. I'm extremely exhausted. I need to catch up on my quite times, and put more focus on God.

Lastly, we're working on a new project for Slubss Inc. It's a line-by-line copy of the Boy Meets World episode "And Then There Was Shawn." We're doing it at school, hopefully Wednesday when we get out early, before the lock out. So be on the look out for that, cause it should be pretty awesome.

OK, I'm done. For now. I'll probably be posting a lot more over the break and around Christmas.

Oh, and if you want to start playing airsoft with us, let me know. We got our team rules together, and they're awesome.

Remember, love is happiness.


Haha.

My Latest Story

OK, so I got pretty bored at time in Arkansas. And so by request, I started writing a story about Taylor and Chloe. I haven't gotten too far, and it's not my best ever, cause I was tired and I sort of rushed it. But still, let me know what you think. Here it is:

Untitled.

Keith Baker

Taylor was sitting on the roof. Not really doing anything, just sitting. Thinking. Waiting. She did this when she felt like she needed to get away. Away from all the chaos of her life. To an outsider she seemed like any normal girl. Normal friends, normal family, normal house, normal life. But it wasn’t. Not in the least. Very few people knew this. Even her closest friends had no idea. She was very good at hiding it.

Taylor sat there on the roof, watching the sun set. This was her favorite time of day. Twilight. She could watch the sun set and know there was indeed a God. She was deep in thought, biting her lip as she watched the last of the sun dip into the mountains in the distance. As she moved some of her long golden-brown hair out of her eyes, her phone rang. She answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey Taylor! I’m almost at your house.” It was Chloe, one of Taylor’s closest friends. She was to come over that night. They were planning on going to the mall with some other friends, maybe watch a movie. Be normal.

“Cool, I’ll meet you outside and we can leave.” Chloe didn’t have a car yet, so she had to ride with Taylor.

Taylor hopped off of the roof onto her deck and went inside. After grabbing her shoes and her car keys she headed out the front door just as Chloe was reaching her house.

“Ready?” Taylor asked, opening the car door.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Chloe answered.

So they were off to the mall. And it was the last normal thing either of them would do for a long, long time.”

The two had a pretty good time at the mall. They met up with some friends, had some food, the usual. It was late when they arrived back at Taylor’s house. Almost midnight.

“Alright, you just wanna stay the night?” Taylor asked.

“Sure, might as well. Do you think your parents will mind?”

“Nah, they’re probably already asleep anyways. We just gotta be quite.”

Chloe giggled and nodded and the two headed inside. The stumbled up a flight of stairs in the dark. When they reached the top, Taylor flipped on some lights. Chloe saw the bodies first.

Chloe let out a nice long scream. Taylor reacted to the noise the only way she knew how. “Chloe! I just told you to be qui-“ She was cut off by the sight of her father and mother on the living room floor. Both were dead, a clean bullet hole in each of their foreheads. Taylor didn’t scream. She didn’t really cry. Only a single tear crept down her cheek. She wiped it away with her sleeve then grabbed Chloe, who was crying, by the arm and drug her to her room.

They entered the room, and as Chloe collapsed on Taylor’s bed, Taylor closed and locked her door. “Taylor….I….I….” Chloe was at a loss for words. “It’s OK, Chloe, it’s OK.”

“What do you mean, ‘it’s OK’?? You’re parents are DEAD!!!!”

“Well thanks for the info. But I saw that.” Taylor was in deep thought, forming a plan in her mind.

“Aren’t you shocked? Aren’t you surprised? Aren’t you SAD?! Don’t you CARE??”

“Yes, of course I do. I loved them both very much, and I will miss them dearly. But now is not the time to mourn.”

“What are you talking about? Why not??”

“Did you see how they died? Did you see?”

“Ummm…there was some blood on their heads…..”

“They were both shot, in the head. Execution style.”

“So they were murdered??”

“You could say that.”

As Chloe rolled this thought over in her mind, Taylor pulled a trunk out from under her bed. She opened it and pulled out a belt. She put it on and then out came a holster.

“Hey, is that…”

“Yes, it’s a gun holster,” Taylor answered as she proceeded to pull out a gun.

“Whoa, what the heck?!” Chloe was shocked to see this large Desert Eagle .44 hand gun in the hands of her best friend.

As Taylor loaded the gun, she began to explain what was happening to Chloe.

“Look Chloe, I’m going to tell you what’s going on. But you’re going to have to accept that there are going to be things that you won’t understand, and that may seem unbelievable to you. OK?”
Chloe only nodded, too confused to formulate a response.

“Alright, here it is: I work for the government. For the CIA. My father works with them, and ever since I was little I was trained and taught in their manner. I know all different types of martial arts, I know how to fire guns and do all that good stuff. When I was twelve they started using me for assignments. Remember when I started going to visit my grandparents in Nebraska a lot?”

“Yeah…..”

“Well I wasn’t visiting anyone. I was being sent around the world on various assignments.”

“But…you were just a kid…”

“Exactly. Think about it. A kid can go places an adult can’t. They can snoop around places and if they get caught, usually a ‘I was curious’ gets them off the hook. A kid is the last thing someone would expect a spy to be.”

“Well, that makes sense but….”

“How did you not know? They’re very secretive. And I guess I am, too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I couldn’t.”

“Yeah, I understand…..I guess…But, why are your parents…”

“Well you have to understand that in my line of work I tend to piss a lot of people off quite often. People are mad enough when they get caught doing illegal things. But when a little girl is the one who catches them? Or when the little girl is the one who beats them up and puts them in hand cuffs? Then they’re PISSED.”

“So……”

“Whoever killed my parents didn’t do it cause they don’t like them. They want me dead.”

“Well that’s not good.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

By this time, Taylor had loaded two identical Desert Eagles, both on holsters on her belt, a mini P9 on her ankle, and she was holding an H&K MP5. She looked like she was ready to go to war.

Upon seeing this, Chloe felt slightly naked in the sense of self defense.

“So…..are you just gonna protect me or what? Cause there’s no way I’m staying here by myself.”

“OK, if you’re sure you want to come. It might get dangerous….”

“Hey, you need me to watch your back. Just give me a gun and let’s go.”

Taylor pulled out a shotgun and handed it to Chloe.
“You know how to use this?”

“Yeah, my dad has one. I got it.”

“Good, cause you’re probably gonna need it. Now just follow me, stay low, and don’t speak unless I say it’s OK.”

Chloe nodded, and Taylor slowly opened the door to the hallway. She cautiously entered the hallway, and started towards the front door, clearing each room as she did. They bypassed the living room, as not to see her parents again, and finally reached the door.

“OK, my guess is they left, maybe to try and find me, or maybe to get some back up. I don’t know. But they’re not in here anymore. So what do you say we make a break for my car and go to your house?”

Chloe nodded, a stern look on her face. The two exited the house and quickly made they’re way to Taylor’s car, a blue and white Mini Cooper. Taylor threw the car into reverse and swung into the road. As soon as they began to leave, a pair of headlights appeared behind them. They gained on the two girls quite quickly, and then they heard the gunshots.

“Get your head down!” Taylor screamed as the back window shattered. “Oh I KNOW you did not just shoot my car! Chloe! Drive for me!”

“Wha-“ Chloe began, but Taylor had already began to climb out her window. Chloe moved into the driver’s seat as best she could with Taylor’s butt in her face, and tried to keep the car on the road. Taylor was hanging out the window, shooting at the black SUV in pursuit of them. One of the passengers leaned out to return fire. Suddenly, Chloe was forced to swerve to the right to prevent Taylor from hitting a stop sign. The driver of the SUV didn’t see it, and the unlucky man shooting at Taylor hit it and was thrown from the vehicle.

Taylor slid back into the car as Chloe slid over and couldn’t help herself from laughing. “Did you see that?! That was awesome!” Chloe just shook her head, still dumbfounded by what was happening. Taylor began to accelerate and got onto the highway.

“I guess your house is out of the question,” Taylor said, semi-joking.

“Yeah, definitely. I don’t want to put my family in danger. But hey, isn’t there some place you can go, or like can’t you call in the government or the cavalry or something?”

“I can’t alert headquarters. But I know who we need to see. He lives about twenty minutes away.”

“Well do you want call him or something? Or will he just be expecting us?”

“We could call, but he wouldn’t answer. Don’t ask. Look, this is my battle. I can’t ask for help from Central because if I do, then they send the whole freaking Army. Then my cover’s blown, and I have to move to flippin Alaska or something. If we can just kill whoever tries to kill us, we’ll be good.”

“Are you serious? But what about your parents and all that stuff?! Come on Taylor, you can’t do this by yourself!”

“But I’m not! You’re helping me!”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then Chloe chimed in. “Well if we’re going to do this, we’re gonna need more guns, don’t ya think?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. But where we’re going, we’ll get plenty of guns. And anything else we could need.”

“Really? Who is this guy?”

“He’s a spy enthusiast. Retired. He collects guns and gear and spy tools. Nothing new and amazing, but good stuff. He was my mentor.”

“But I thought you said your dad taught you all this spy stuff.”

“Exactly. The man we’re going to see is my real father.”

“What do you mean he’s your real father??”

“I mean just that: He’s my dad. The two people that were killed at my house weren’t really my parents. My biological mother died when I was two, so my dad took me in, which is how I got involved in this stuff. Those two were just the people I was living with to keep a low profile. I mean, if I was living with a single father who works for the CIA….”

“Yeah, I see….”

“But don’t get me wrong. I loved those two. They were like parents to me, and I will miss them. But I need to go see my dad about this right now.”

“OK, I understand.”

“Good.”

The SUV was back. It had left for a period of time, probably to recover it’s fallen passenger. But now it was back and it wasn’t going to give up. This time, Chloe took action. “I got this. Just keep it steady.” Taylor nodded, and Chloe opened the sun roof. She stood up, took aim with her shotgun, and fired. With her third shot she blew out the front left tire. The vehicle swerved, trying to stay on the road. Chloe continued to fire, and took out the remaining front tire in the process. The SUV swung around, throwing sparks everywhere, and flipped. Chloe entered the car with a smile. “That was fun.”

They arrived at their destination a few minutes later. It was a house located deep in a heavily wooded area, with a bumpy and rough driveway leading to it. There was one car already parked there: a small silver Solstice. “Well, he’s got a nice car,” Chloe said optimistically.

“You have no idea….”

They got out of Taylor’s car and approached the front door. Taylor turned to Chloe before ringing the bell. “OK, he’s not gonna know who you are, so just let me do all of the talking.” Chloe nodded, and Taylor rang the door bell. The man who answered the door was not exactly what Taylor was expecting. He was maybe six feet tall, with long brown hair, tied back in a pony tail. He was wearing a dirty white tee shirt and some tattered blue jeans.

“Tay! What are you doing here?!” He said loudly with a smile.

“Daddy!!” Taylor hugged him, and they entered the house, Chloe following them quietly.

Taylor sat her father down on a nasty looking couch and proceeded to tell him the events of the last hour. When she finished, he stood up and began pacing around, deep in thought. After about a minute, he spoke.

“Well, I see your problem. You can’t go to Central for help. So I guess it’s up to us to take care of this.”

Chloe couldn’t help herself. “You don’t think that SUV was all of them, do you?”

The man chuckled and turned to Taylor. “Is she trying to be funny.”

Taylor shook her head.

“Ha. She’s cute.” He just shook his head and kept talking. “Alright, I’m gonna have to load you two up with gear, and we’re gonna need to find out who it is that wants you dead. The best thing to do here is go on the offensive and take the out quickly and quietly.”

The girls nodded, and he exited the room. The girls jumped up and followed him downstairs. Chloe got there last, just as he turned on the lights for the basement. “Wow. That’s a lot of guns.”

So There's This Girl....

So there's this girl....I really like her. A lot. And she likes me, too. Not sure how much, though. But I know it's enough.

And the funny thing is that she's been there the whole time. It just took me going through a rough time to realize how amazing she is. And let me tell you, that's a lot.

And you know what's great? It's like we're on the same level on everything. We both put God first in everything, and we both think the same about boundaries and how we should handle a relationship. But we haven't started one yet. Just give it time. We'll get there.

Anyways, just thought I'd let everyone know why I'm so happy.
: ]

Oh, new story on the way. Just as soon as I have time. Maybe on the way to Arkansas.....I don't know. It'll get here when it gets here.

Some Things I've Learned

OK, so these past few weeks have really showed me some stuff, really opened my eyes. Like, we shouldn't chase after someone we think we want SO bad. Because if they don't want us back, it's not worth it. Sometimes we can be so wrapped up in finding the best, we don't understand that we already have it. It's right there, we just don't want it to be that easy. And maybe it's not the most convienent thing, but it's worth it. I promise. Because while "the hunt" may be fun, it's pointless if you come back with nothing to show for it. More than likely you'll just end up shooting yourself in the foot. So just stay home, there's plenty to eat in the fridge. OK, so maybe that last analogy was a little off, but do you get my point? It's so incredibly pointless for us to chase after that someone that you think will complete you, when really, you're already whole. So here's my advice to those of you currently chasing down a prey that's a little faster than you: Just sit back and look. Take inventory. You'll be surprised with what you found. I know I was. I was surprised and insanely happy. You will be too.

Just some thoughts. They probably won't apply to everyone who reads this. But they sure will for some.

My Life

Alright, so this past weekend was Manley's Fall Retreat. This was the second year I've gone, and it was yet again amazing. The theme was "Be Still With God," which was good for me, since I couldn't do anything due to my leg. This is an area that I do need to work on. I'm not completely leaving God in the dark, but sometimes it's almost as if I don't even give Him the time of day. Well during my past few quiet times, one of the things I've been asking God is what He wants me to do with my life. I've really been confused with what I want to do lately, and I think it was because I was pretty much leaving God out of the equation. After really listening to Him, I feel like I know what He's calling me to. I think He wants me to use my love and talents in writing to share His word. I think I could really do something amazing with my writing talents and God behind me. I mean, if I could be anything close to what C.S. Lewis is, or even just get something published glorifying Him, I feel like it would be amazing. Because one of my biggest struggles isn't really sharing God with others, but bringing it up. If someone else does, I'll talk about Him forever. But I have trouble provoking the conversation. And writing about Him allows me to really express how I feel and the things He's done for me and is able to do for anyone.

Anyways, the point is that I believe this is what God is calling me to do with my life. Now just like most things, this can and probably will changed in the future. But know this: whatever I do will be in His name. I've thought of going into ministry, but currently, I don't feel like I'm spiritually mature enough to undertake that. But it's definitely still an option, because I love God, and I don't mind talking in front of people.

So in closing, I just ask that you guys pray for me. I'm praying for like forty people daily right now, so there's not much room for me to pray for myself right now. And pray for my leg, too, cause we're still not sure what's up with that.

Oh, and two more things. First, I highly recommend picking up the new 116 Clique album AMPED! cause it's flippin amazing. Also, at Fall Retreat I was given Oswald Chambers' daily devotional "My Utmost for His Highest." And if you don't have a daily devotional, CHECK IT OUT. It really is amazing. I can't believe how deep it's getting on verses I've heard one hundred times and never really thought about. And it's a great supplement to my quiet times. So check it out.

Alright, I'm out. I'm grounded for four weeks, so I'll be blogging pretty often in the times to come. So be on the look out. And I can't go see any movies in that time, so no I AM LEGEND or Beowolf, which I'm really depressed about. Anyways, remember to pray for me. Till next time, peace.

keith

Day. Night.

Day. This is when I question myself. This is when I try to correct, try to perfect myself for her eyes. I see her more than she sees me; I am looking, she is not. When I'm around her I'm different. I try to be myself, but doubt overcomes me. I am filled with the lies of my environment that I myself am not worthy. I try to talk to her. Too much, really. When she does not respond, it hurts. More doubt fills me. When I am with her, I am happy. I try not to show it, as not to promote and flaunt my feelings. If I hurt her, I hurt me. I only want her to be happy. I only aim to please.

Night. This is when I question her. I get angry at her, for she is the one with eyes shut tight, not I. Yet I always forgive her, and go back to blaming myself. More doubt. Night is a time for sleep, yet I do not. I can not. The doubt won't let me. The questions won't allow me the rest. I have an ever-enduring waterfall of thoughts flowing through my head. I drift into sleep and awake to another Day.

My Realization

I've finally realized why it is the good guys never get a chance. We read multiple E.E. Cummings poems today in class. They were all about the speaker's undieing love for a woman. And after reading each poem, I heard the same thing from almost every girl in the class: "Aw, why are there no more guys like that?" or "I wish I could find a guy like him!" And then I heard it: "All the good guys are dead..." That's when it hit me: Girls don't notice the nice guys until they're dead. Because then they wouldn't have to settle for them. Then it's convenient. So there it is, all the nice guys out there: We're doomed. It's not that nice guys finish last, it's that we never finish at all.

And don't even start to say that I'm just not noticing the girls that are noticing the nice guys, cause I am. One of my best friends has completely moved past that whole stage in life, and she sees the nice guys for who they are. But girls like that are the minority. And it's a tragedy.